Lifestyle Changes to Improve Female Sexual Desire
Of course, it’s important to remember that levels of desire are so individual, varies from person-to-person, and can shift throughout life.
What to Watch For
If these approaches aren't helping, your doctor may be able to find a solution — that could involve treating an underlying condition or prescribing medication (for men) or lubricants and low-dose vaginal estrogen products for vaginal dryness and painful sex in women. As a service to our readers, Harvard Health Publishing provides access to our library of archived content. Please note the date of last review delayed ejaculation pills or update on all articles. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician. What can you do to increase libido?
Understanding Your Arousal
Low sex drive affects about 4 in 10 women, increasing in midlife and peaking after menopause. Many things factor into your sexual desire—fluctuating hormone levels, lifestyle habits, mood, underlying health conditions, relationship factors, and more—but there are many ways to improve the situation, especially if menopause-related issues are the root cause. While libido is complex, there are many things you can do to amp things back up. Learn how to increase sex drive, plus libido-boosting supplements for women, relationship help, and more. If you're reading this, you're likely wondering how to reignite your libido—or perhaps you’re simply curious about what might be getting in the way. And then there’s how your low libido can affect your relationship—especially if there’s a mismatch in sex drive with your partner that's putting a real dent in both of your lives. If low libido lingers for a long time, you may be diagnosed with hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or HSDD.
| Hormone | Role in Libido | Normal Range in Women | Factors Affecting Levels |
|---|---|---|---|
| Estrogen | Regulates libido, vaginal health | 15-350 pg/mL (varies) | Menopause, medications |
| Testosterone | Enhances desire, arousal | 6-85 ng/dL | Aging, health status |
| Progesterone | Balances estrogen, mood | 0.2-25 ng/mL (phase dependent) | Hormonal imbalance |
HSDD is defined as “a persistent or recurrent absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity, causing personal distress or interpersonal difficulties.” That last part—personal distress/interpersonal difficulties—is really important.
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When your low libido is making you feel unhappy or causing issues in your relationship, then it’s something to take steps to treat. (You’re in the right place, keep reading!) The symptoms of low libido can include: Reduced or lack of desire for fantasies and sexual stimulation Inability to maintain desire during sexual activity Loss of desire to initiate or participate in sexual activity Avoidance of situations that can lead to sexual activity Making things more complex are all of the factors that influence your sexual desire, including: Physical causes: Hormonal changes like menopause, which can affect vaginal tissues in particular, leading to discomfort; stage of life, such as postpartum; medications; and underlying medical conditions like thyroid disease. Psychological causes: Stress, anxiety, depression, past trauma, and more. Lifestyle factors: Poor diet, lack of exercise, sleep problems, and more.
Female Libido Supplements FAQs
“Women should know that sexual concerns are normal and can be addressed,” says Dr. Goldman. “That’s why it’s especially important to find a provider who is knowledgeable and comfortable and open in discussing these concerns.” So, how can you get your libido back? We’ll break down everything you need to know about low libido, natural ways to increase it, plus medical treatments, relationship fixes, and more. At Midi, our clinicians have heard—and treated it all—so they can help you regain your spark and interest in sex. Understanding how you're faring in all these categories will help you identify the root cause(s) of your low sex drive—and what you medicine for erectile dysfunction can do to start to bring the heat back up. When you’re ready to make a changes to restore your sex drive, you can start with some of these natural solutions for a higher libido: Everyone “knows” that oysters are known to be an aphrodisiac, but you definitely don’t have to eat them to get in the mood. Eating in a healthy, balanced way—shout out to the Mediterranean Diet—reduces inflammation, decreases the risk of metabolic syndrome, and helps maintain a healthy weight, all of which keep blood vessels healthy—which impacts genital arousal.
True Stories Of Transformation
A study of L-arginine's effect on heart attack survivors had to be stopped early after six people taking the supplement died. This comes from bark of a tree native to Africa. "It does promote penile blood flow, but you have no idea whether the supplement you're taking has too much or too little," warns Dr. O'Leary. Another warning: yohimbine may damage heart function and may cause high blood pressure (hypertension), headaches, agitation, insomnia, and sweating.
What causes low libido?
Lifestyle changes can help boost sexual activity without medication. "Very good data have shown that in men, weight loss alone improves sexual function. It's probably because fat makes estrogen, which fights testosterone needed for sexual function," Dr. O'Leary says. Other things that can help for both sexes: exercising and smoking cessation, which improve blood flow to the sexual organs; limiting alcohol intake, since large amounts can dampen sexual reflexes and the ability of men to maintain an erection; and eating a healthy diet, which helps maintain a healthy weight. (Blood flow to vaginal tissues is key for vaginal lubrication.) Limiting your sodium intake, in particular, enhances the ability of vessels to dilate. And a special shout-out to tofu and edamame: Soy intake has been also shown to help boost vaginal blood flow and lubrication, which is especially helpful if you’re experiencing vaginal dryness and irritation. Other foods that have been shown to help with sexual health thanks to their effects on the vascular system or vaginal lubrications: watermelon, apples, and cacao. Vaginal dryness, irritation, and pain during intercourse affect 50% of women after menopause.
| Factor | Impact | Common Issues | Solutions |
|---|---|---|---|
| Relationship Satisfaction | Enhances desire | Distrust, conflicts | Communication Therapy |
| Self-esteem | Influences sexual confidence | Anxiety, body image issues | Counseling, mindfulness |
| Stress Levels | Suppresses libido | Work, life pressures | Relaxation techniques |
| Mood Disorders | Decreases sexual interest | Depression, anxiety | Professional treatment |
If vaginal dryness and irritation is a big part of your libido nosedive, it’s time to buddy up with vaginal moisturizers and lubricants.
Achieve a Healthy Sex Drive for a Happier Life
Libido is simply a word to describe sexual desire, or how much you want to engage in sexual activity. You can have a high libido, meaning you have a high sex drive. You can also have a low libido, which means a low sex drive. During perimenopause and menopause, declining levels of estrogen can take your typical level of desire and tank it. Not to mention that a decrease in estrogen can also cause vaginal dryness and thinning that make sex uncomfortable and painful. Vaginal moisturizers, which you can apply a few times per week, work by improving moisture in vaginal cells so that you’re naturally more hydrated.
| Factor | Description | Effect on Libido | Recommendations |
|---|---|---|---|
| Stress Management | Reduces cortisol levels | Enhances desire | Meditation, Yoga |
| Sleep Quality | Restorative sleep | Restores hormonal balance | Aim for 7-9 hours/night |
| Regular Exercise | Cardiovascular activity | Boosts circulation, mood | 3-5 times/week |
| Alcohol Intake | Moderate consumption | May impair sexual response | Limit to moderate levels |
Midi clinicians recommend the vaginal moisturizing products by the brands Good Clean Love and Revaree by Bonafide.
Preventive Strategies for Maintaining a Healthy Libido
This can produce dangerous, even life-threatening, reactions. Popular sexual performance supplements often contain a blend of ingredients (sometimes dozens of them). Some of the best-selling include DHEA (short for dehydroepiandrosterone, an adrenal hormone), ginkgo biloba, fenugreek, ginseng, horny goat weed, L-arginine, maca, tribulus, yohimbine, and zinc. Dr. O'Leary says most of those won't help your love life.
1. Fenugreek
But there may be a few exceptions. This amino acid provides the raw material from which the body makes nitric oxide, a molecule that helps relax and open blood vessels, a necessary step to achieve an erection of the penis. "But putting that into a pill isn't proven to produce an erection," Dr. O'Leary says. Moreover, people with heart disease should avoid it. Vaginal lubricants, on the other hand, are products that you use during sexual activity. These products make penetration more comfortable and a whole lot more enjoyable. If you’re using condoms, you’ll want to ensure that the lubricant you’re using is also condom compatible. (That includes silicone- and water-based lubes, but often not oil-based ones.) No matter what OTC product you’re using, make sure that it’s fragrance-free (and, if a lubricant, also free of colors and flavorings) to protect the health of your vagina. Getting your body moving at the gym (or anywhere, frankly) can help amp up the energy elsewhere. One study found that women who engaged in frequent physical activity had an up to 80% reduction in the chances of having low libido.
The Nutrients Your Body Craves
Maybe you can remember a time when you craved intimacy, when the desire to connect physically felt natural and effortless. But now, rekindling that spark seems elusive, or frankly unappealing if you have symptoms that make it hard to get in the mood (ugh, vaginal dryness). Well, you’ve come to the right place for answers. If low libido has become part of your reality, you’re not alone. A staggering 38% of women in the U.S.
Improve Sleep Quality
report struggling with low sexual desire, according to a comprehensive study in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology. What's more, as you age, so does the likelihood of diminished libido—by the time women reach 65, three out of four report little to no desire. But here’s some good news: You can turn things around. Many things can make sex less exciting for women throughout life, and especially during menopause, including problems in the areas of desire, arousal, orgasm, and pleasure, says Midi’s chief clinical officer Mindy Goldman, M.D. Unfortunately there are still many societal taboos around discussing sex, says Goldman, making women less likely to bring it up with their doctor. Exercise helps you in a variety of ways: It has a positive impact on hormones and your nervous system that promote mental and physiological arousal, plus it’s a bonafide mood and body image booster, notes research. (When you’re feeling yourself, you may also be more likely to say ‘yes’ to sex.) You know the feeling of having a high-stress day where you’re left frayed and frazzled?
- Hydrate properly to support physiological processes.
- Engage in sensual touch and skin contact.
- Explore new fantasies to reignite desire.
- Reduce screen time to focus on your partner.
- Fresh air and sunlight improve overall mood.
- Keep intimate gestures consistent and spontaneous.
- Support pelvic floor health through exercise.
- Practice self-love to enhance confidence.
The last thing on your mind might be having sex with your partner.
- Adaptogenic herbs help combat fatigue and boost desire.
- Staying physically active improves blood flow.
- Maintaining a healthy gut supports hormone synthesis.
- Daily self-care routines promote overall health.
- Open communication with partners increases intimacy.
- Avoiding stress triggers preserves hormonal balance.
- Practicing gratitude enhances emotional closeness.
- Regular massage can relax and stimulate desire.
Research shows that higher amounts of daily stress is linked to lower sexual activity—and lower relationship satisfaction, too. Improving stress management by lessening stressful situations, scheduling time for self-care (in whatever way that looks like for you), getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating well can all help improve your mental health and mood.
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